Everyone has self-talk. That narrator in your head who pops up every few seconds, minutes, hours.
Or maybe for some people, it’s a constant narrator. It isn’t, really – it can’t be.
Everyone has moments of quiet and can identify with that feeling of quiet, of stillness.
What can make the difference is seeing your self-talk differently. Instead of seeing it as YOU talking and narrating, or even as your ‘inner voice’ doing it, what if it isn’t you at all?
What if all that self-talk is just like chatter coming from another room?
Separate from you, detached, not yours and not anything you need to concern yourself with.
Have you ever had a situation where you’ve reading and there is some background activity or noise?
Or while watching TV? Or while sitting on a bus with a couple or group of friends chattering away a few seats in front?
Now, if you’re like most people, and you’re not eavesdropping (unless something juicy is happening, right?!), then you probably don’t pay much attention to all that noise, do you?
You may even find you’re oblivious to it, as you’re so immersed in your own activity and your own world to notice.
It’s so funny, I’ve JUST noticed an example for me, right now, as I write this blog post. It comes up for me quite often. I am writing this while listening to a marketing podcast (“Authority Hackers”, if you’re interested).
However, it’s just over seven and a half minutes since I clicked play and resumed typing, and I’ve just noticed I’ve barely heard a single word of what the guys are saying, as I am so immersed in writing this!
That’s because that noise and chatter isn’t YOURS. You don’t see it as anything to do with you, as part of you, or relating to you in any way.
Why would you? It’s probably just noise, chatter, hubbub (where do you ever see that word?!), or gossip.
Transient, fleeting, and fairly meaningless (to you anyway, as the observer).
And so it may well be with your self-talk.
If you find a voice saying or telling you something you don’t like, are fearful about, or causes anxiety or any other feeling to arise, know that unless you are in danger or you need to act in some way, it’s just like chatter in another room.
And you don’t need to pay attention to chatter in another room, as it’s not about you. It’s not yours, or something to feel you need to connect with or even pay attention to.
And just like that couple or group of friends on the bus, they find their stop, and they leave of their own accord.